THE WOMAN MY MAN NEEDS

I HAVE BEEN FEELING THAT, AS A WOMAN, I HAVE NOT BEEN FAIR TO MY MAN LATELY. I HAVE BEEN FEELING LIKE I HAVE "PASSED THE BUCK" SO TO SPEAK ABOUT THE ISSUES OR "PROBLEMS" WE HAVE HAD LATELY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND THAT'S NOT REALLY FAIR TO MY JON.

I NEED TO BE BETTER THEN THAT, AND I THINK HONESTLY WE ALL CAN WORK A LITTLE BIT ON BEING MORE UNDERSTANDING, FORGIVING AND TOLERABLE WHEN IT COMES TO THE THINGS OUR MEN DO ON A DAILY BASIS THAT MAKE US LOOK AT THEM WITH MOUTH OPEN AND QUESTIONING WHAT THE HECK THEY WERE THINKING, TO OURSELVES OF COURSE.
IF ANYBODY DESERVED MORE TOLERANCE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND WAY OF THINKING (OR NOT THINKING) IT IS THE MEN WE SHARE OUR LIVES WITH. WHEN WE COME TO REALIZE THAT THEY JUST THINK WAY DIFFERENTLY THEN WE DO, THAT THEY ARE MORE "DOER'S" THEN "TALKER'S", THAT THEY WANT TO NATURALLY "FIX" THINGS NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, OR IF IT CAN EVEN BE FIXED. WHEN WE CAN ACCEPT THESE THINGS ARE EMBEDDED INTO THEIR NATURE AND THAT FOR THE MOST PART, IT IS JUST THE WAY MOST MEN ARE, WE WILL BE A LOT HAPPIER IN OUR OWN LIFE.
INSTEAD OF BEATING OUR HEAD UP AGAINST THE WALL AND ALWAYS ASKING OURSELVES "WHY?"  WE CAN JUST ACCEPT THESE THINGS AND MOVE ON. THAT WAY WE REMOVE THE EXPECTATIONS OF OUR MAN CHANGING TO BE MORE LIKE US, WHEN IN REALITY, WE CAN'T AND SHOULD NEVER TRY TO CHANGE OUR MAN, OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS THE ABILITY TO "CHANGE" ANYONE. ONLY THE INDIVIDUAL PERSON, MAN OR WOMAN, CAN CHANGE THEMSELVES, AND FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. 
IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE, WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR OR WAY OF DOING THINGS FOR SOMEONE ELSE, 99% OF THE TIME IT NEVER LASTS. IT MAY START OFF OK, BUT IN THE END, IT REVERTS BACK TO THE WAY IT USED TO BE, AND SOMETIMES IT GETS WORSE.
TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE CHANGE IS A SELFISH ACT, IN MY OPINION. IT IS NOT ACCEPTING THIS PERSON YOU "LOVE" FOR WHO THEY ARE, FAULTS AND ALL. YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR MAN FOR THE WAY HE WAS, NOT FOR WHO YOU WANT HIM TO BE.
I BELIEVE AS WOMEN WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO HELP THE MEN IN OUR LIVES BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE, SIMPLY BY DOING A FEW SIMPLE THINGS ON A DAILY BASIS. IT IS OUR JOB AS WOMEN, TO BUILD UP OUR MEN TO BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE, NOT TEARING THEM DOWN AND CRITICIZE EVERYTHING THING THEY DO OR DECISION THEY MAKE. THE POWER OF A WOMAN OVER A MAN IS GREAT, AND IT IS WHAT WE DO WITH THAT POWER THAT CAN MAKE A RELATIONSHIP SOLID AND STRONG AND UNBREAKABLE. WE CAN MISUSE THAT POWER AND RUIN THE VERY THING WE ARE TRYING TO HOLD ON TO. 
I REMEMBER WHEN I HEARD A VERSE IN THE BIBLE THAT MADE ME REALIZE THIS VERY THING. I FORGET WHERE EXACTLY IT IS LOCATED AT IN THE BIBLE, BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET THE WORDING.
                 
                   "A WISE WOMAN CAN BUILD UP HER HOUSE, AND A 
                         FOOLISH WOMAN CAN EASILY TEAR IT DOWN"

MY POINT OF THIS POST IS TO ENCOURAGE OTHER WOMEN TO MAKE A CONSCIENCE EFFORT TO BUILD UP THEIR MEN, AND ENCOURAGE THEM, TO LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO, BECAUSE IN THE LONG RUN, IS THE FACT THAT HE FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH, AGAIN, GOING TO REALLY MATTER WHEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE 80 YEARS OLD? IN OTHER WORDS, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE. WHAT IS IT REALLY GOING TO DO TO TELL HIM THAT HE GOT US LOST AND WE MISSED THE START OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS? IT WILL CAUSE A HUGE ARGUMENT AND IF YOU DO MAKE IT TO THE MOVIES, YOU WON'T ENJOY IT BECAUSE YOU WILL STILL BE FUMING AT HIM, AND IF YOU DON'T GET TO THE MOVIES, IT'S ANOTHER BAD NIGHT BEING MAD AT EACH OTHER.
HOW MUCH CAN ONE SMALL ACT CHANGE THE WHOLE SCENARIO? WHAT IF BEFORE YOU EVEN LEFT TO THE MOVIES, YOU JUMPED ON THE COMPUTER, TYPED IN THE ADDRESS AND PRINTED UP THE DIRECTIONS, AND WHILE YOU WERE BOTH GETTING READY FOR THE NIGHT, BROUGHT UP HOW TO GET THERE, SO THAT WAY HE IS NOT PUT IN A POSITION WHERE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE, BUT PRIDE WON'T LET HIM ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. THAT ONE SMALL ACT JUST SAVED THE WHOLE NIGHT AND YOU SPENT A GREAT NIGHT WITH YOUR MAN, INSTEAD OF ARGUING.
WE ARE SUPPOSED TO STAND BEHIND OUR MAN, TO BE THERE TO HELP HIM HOLD UP HIS ARMS WHEN HE CAN'T, TO CATCH THE THINGS THAT HE MAY MISS AND LET SLIP THROUGH. A TEAM. 
INSTEAD OF MAKING IT KNOWN, BY SAYING THINGS OUT LOUD, AND MAKING HIM FEEL LESS OF A MAN, TAKE UP THE SLACK AND ALWAYS ENCOURAGE HIM, TELL HIM MORE HOW PROUD YOU ARE OF HIM FOR WHAT HE DOES FOR THE FAMILY, GIVE HIM HIS "MAN-TIME" WHEN HE GETS HOME FROM WORK SO HE CAN UNWIND AND GET OUT OF WORK MODE AND GET INTO HUSBAND, FATHER MODE. IT ONLY USUALLY TAKES ABOUT 30 MINUTES. TIME WHERE YOU KEEP QUIET, EVEN GO INT ANOTHER ROOM SO HE CAN REGROUP AND DOESN'T FEEL FORCED INTO CONVERSATION OR "NAGGED"
I KNOW THIS WILL TAKE THE MOST EFFORT ON OUR PART, BUT ISN'T YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORTH IT? THE MAJORITY OF US ARE STAY AT HOME MOMS, AND I KNOW WE DO ALOT ALREADY, BUT IT IS NOT THAT MUCH MORE TO DO, FOR A MUCH HAPPIER HOME. 

SO JOIN ME AS I WORK TOWARDS BECOMING THE WOMAN MY MAN DESERVES, AND MAKE AN EFFORT TO BECOME THE WOMAN YOUR MAN DESERVES!

STAY TUNED FOR WEEKLY UPDATES AND CHALLENGES FOR YOU TO DO TO HELP GET THERE. THANKS FOR READING AND JOINING ME!
LOVE FROM A CALIFORNIA MOMMA,
ANGELA H.